One of those days

Today, I relearned why I should praise God.

It was one of those days where nothing seems to go right and small and insignificant things (like the weather, ants, or getting lost) gets to you. It was odd because I'm normally never really sad, and although nothing tragic happened, I somehow had a rough day.

Today, Game, for some reason or another, was extremely moody and didn't want to learn guitar at the end of the day. Plus, Ahjan Yawalak wasn't there so I had to explain the lesson by myself. I realized I must learn Thai.. Then, one of the 6th grade boys wanted to fight another boy, so by the end of the day I was tired. The day proceeded with eating lunch by myself, then encountering a bunch of ants in my purse, and getting lost on the road.

Later, I was talking to my brother and in my journal I wrote, " I miss my family so much it hurts, their warm embrace their encouraging words, and the smiles of familiar faces."

Ok so that's all the, "sorry for me," stuff. Now let me tell you how great God is.

As I was reading the bible God said, "Grace do you remember that I grant you and hold every heartbeat in my hands?"

So I started thinking, whats a few ants, hot days, and unruly children compared to His Glory being fulfilled!

Mission is full of smiles, but sometimes there's loneliness too. I was debating whether to blog about how I feel (normally I don't do that) but I realized that you (the people back at home) should be apart of my battle in Thailand.

God reminded me "But God will ransom my soul from the power of Sheol, for he will receive me." Psalms Ch 49:15.

My problem is this: I focus only on the temporary. Physical conditions, missing friends family (which is not wrong), but I forget the infinite.

I then placed my sin in front of God, along with all my worries. Praise God, for he is sovereign.

In Psalms 50, God tells his people that their scarifies is not what he desires, for he made those things. Instead: v14 "offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving and perform your vows to the most high." V15" and call upon me in the day of trouble; and I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me."

Why do I forget all the seconds God serves me? Every breath and heartbeat He graciously gives. If I (and I will) complain of my physical state again, I pray God will quickly remindes me who He is.

I will end in this verse. Psalms Ch 51:16

"for you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be please with a burnt offering..."

v: 17"The scarifies of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart, O God you will not despise."

Edit* to clarify:

My days in Thailand are not full of struggles. Believe me, I was sad for only like 2 hours. These small dips "spiritual attacks," only happen because Satan has a way using anything to bring the focus to yourself instead of the greatness of God. God granted me a clear and true perspective of the day. Now as my day is ending I realized that today was actually a great day. School wasn't bad at all and I ended the day with dinner with loving friends from Ban Joy. As I read my blog, though the feelings were real, I sort of chuckle because there was really nothing to be sad about. Thailand is amazing and the people are amazing! Every teacher I meet tells me to call them Mom or Dad, and goes out of their way to make me feel like apart of their family. So, what I'm trying to say it was just one of those days I learned how faithful and loving my God is :)

OK I have to sleep. I love you guys! Jing Jing (in Thai)